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RELATIONSHIPS: The Key to Success in Speaking
(And practically anywhere else)
(or) The One Word That’s Key to Success in Speaking.
By John Jay Daly, President
DALY COMMUNICATIONS
Chevy Chase, MD
(Founder of NSA/DC’s Chapter in 1980
and twice its president in the ‘90s)
There are countless ways to describe and analyze what constitutes success in speaking. Elements such as “an important message well delivered” – “commanding stage presence” -- “effective marketing so as to become
known to many planners” – “topic flexibility so you can stay ahead of changing times.” -- -- “organizational ability” etc.
But if there’s a single word that towers above all when it comes to success, it’s “Relationships.” After five decades of business speaking (more than three of them as a professional) I affirm this even more.
Yes, it will take you some time, but to prove my point, simply delineate -- and then describe -- the myriad relationships you are involved with, willingly or not. In broad terms divide them professionally and
personally with some intertwined. Since there are so many relationships each of us is involved with, I suggest you write down a few of the most important and tell why they are vital.
Begin with the relationship with yourself. You’d better feel good about that lest it infect all others.
If you devote even ten minutes to creating a simple listing you may surprise yourself how quickly the names and categories add up. Give it an hour and you’ll likely be stunned. Now, for each one, if your relationship
were objectively rated on a scale ranging from “Excellent” to “Poor” how would you measure up? And why? Is it neglect or indifference or simply unawareness?
If you cavalierly admit that you don’t care and it’s only the performance that counts, think again. I’ve known and heard about many otherwise excellent speakers who are so difficult to work with that event planners
simply won’t suffer a second time in dealing with them. And, since such word travels quickly, how many bookings will “ Mr. or Ms. Difficult” never get due to that reputation?
I recently asked as planner pal if a particular speaker who was on her program was as difficult to work with as was reputed, she quickly retorted: “Not difficult at all. He was impossible -- and I’m warning all my
friends.”
But don’t confine your relationship savvy to planners. Concern yourself with everyone you come in contact with. Yes, you may be a solo operator giving only keynotes, but success in speaking is still a team effort.
Think about how many people are involved in your effort, from your family to your colleagues to those who are staging the event. The numbers quickly add up.
The moral is simple: cherish and guard those many relationships, even some you think may seem to be fleeting.
In truth they never are. Since many speakers still analyze ways they can improve their presentation prowess, it’s equally wise to assess their important relationships. Should some need repair – particularly personal
ones – get at it. Should forgiveness be the solution, take the first step.
Just remember, even if you didn’t need “good relationships” to succeed in this business – and believe me, you do – you’ll feel much inside and out if you treat everyone with love and kindness.
Well, most everyone.
Earlier this month, after presenting my thoughts about living lightheartedly to top award winners in the annual all-media contest sponsored by “Association Trends” publication, I was asked for the eighth time to
deliver the Invocation at the luncheon honoring the “Association Executive of the Year. A key portion of it seems appropriate to cite here:
“The fact that we are into the sixth year of this new century attests to the amazing speed of life we’ve sadly become inured to. So, before this evening ends, dear Lord, please grant us a few quiet moments to
reflect on the importance of the wide array of personal and professional relationships in which we are constantly involved. After we delineate and then contemplate these relationships, help us to maintain those that
are in good repair -- and repair those which are not.
If forgiveness is needed, help us take the initiative. For, in the final analysis, it matters how well we handle our personal and professional relationships. Finally, when we are summoned to meet you -– whether it’s
as sudden as tomorrow or in the distant future –- we know we must provide an accounting of our actions or inactions. In particular what has actually been our spiritual relationship with your clear guidelines as to
how we should live. We humbly pray that each of us passes that most important Final Examination so we merit an Eternal Relationship with you”
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